1. happiness is hard to explain
I had dinner with my aunt and her friends tonight, which was great because all i ever see my aunt do is work and rush around tending to my cousins. It’s lovely to see her unwind with her friends, and unwind she did oO The night progressed from polite greetings to louder and louder high fives and happy gossiping. Sadly (for me), as I sat there and looked at them, all I could think of was how it’s so much harder to write happiness down. The weight of depression and gloom seems prioritized in the land of words as compared to the description of joy.
For all Man’s search for happiness, it’s ironic how without conflict or tension there’s nothing to be told of his life. A happy man is such a boring one that no one would want to know about him.
Or is it that I find sadness something better to portray, something far more important everyone should know of? All these instances in life where you find people being down? I don’t know. But today as I sat with 3 other women chattering together, all I can remember is ‘i can’t write this sccne. it’s too chick lit. i have nothing to write about it’.
2. don’t want company/shallow/looking for friends
Which led me to some of my own thoughts when we were driving back home. As most of you would know I’m horrible at light conversation. I’m not the prompter, and though i know it’s important to learn how to be one, sometimes i just wish everyone would not talk and leave some silence to be had. Silence is good. It allows you concentration to think. Anyway, i’ve noticed that increasingly, I’ve been retreating to my own corner more and more often. I’m desperate for company, don’t get me wrong, but i haven’t found any that I would love to be with more than I already am. Listening to more and more gossip and talk that I wouldn’t remember 10 minutes later just goads me into staying away from people. I suddenly find it so meaningless to be around them.
Yet, as I was thinking the above thought, it crossed my mind again – what is meaningful company? Philosophical talks? Bitching about the government and the current issues of the world? I don’t know. Does it matter if it means anything or not? And again, I have no answer. But I just reached the conclusion that if the former company bothers me so much, I guess i’m not really having much fun with them, right? I guess I love introspective talks, I love some serious issues, I love people who think and relate and not only talk about themselves so much. I love people who tolerate.
I’m looking for friends over here 
3. crossing over to the land of tampons
So the period issue and the restriction from dolphin swimming goaded me over to the land of tampons. I got a box here that I will read the instructions of after I shower (out of force of habit I always misuse the word ‘bathe’. it creates so much confusion with the americans). And I’ll give it a try tomorrow. Will blog about it, of course.
Am I not bad this week?!!! I’ve been consistently blogging everyday! I’m amazing 
